Be a lioness not a lamb

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By 2017-08-18

By Darshani Abeyrathna

They say that "Beneath every strong, independent woman lies a broken little girl who had to learn how to get back up and to never depend on anyone". Likewise I will never ever be able to tell you when it began or even when it ended exactly. However, I now found time to make my broken look beautiful.

It is not easy to shed tears and move on; it was never easy to burst into tears in order to put across what I had inside. It is purely because life had revealed to me that no one ever wanted to see me fully and clearly. That is the time I chose to let my cracks shine with gold. It did not happen abruptly; maybe it had been making its way for a long time. In whatever way I wanted to let each and every thing that feared me to become the things that made me beautiful. Maybe now, I feel like I have stopped hiding from myself.

I learnt it the hard way that anything worth having is undoubtedly never easy to get. I knew as a fact that it was useless to let anyone in, because all they ever did was leave no matter what. All they ever let me know was that the one and only person that I could ever count on is, myself. Other than that no one could be counted on. Even if they will make sweet promises yet when the time gets hard and when the life tore me down with a tear-streaked face, the only person, that helps me is, myself.

There was not a day that went by when I did not wonder what it would feel like to be loved wholeheartedly; then again I knew that was a day dream more mysterious than the fairy tales. In the long run, it made me feel that the life had mercilessly shattered even the itsy-bitsy pieces that were left in me.

I also felt that the best way to mend my inner little girl was to grow into as vulnerable as I was before. They take me for granted just to fulfil their selfish purpose, yet I decided to blossom despite the setbacks. This does not make me hate my past anymore. I do love my past, and I never forget to plant the seeds for my future. It is not because I did not fully embrace who I was, yet this is only because holding on tightly to that no longer served the woman that I am trying to become in the days to come.

This is the ability to transform and reframe the reality which entitles me to shine with a beauty unseen by those who have never been trampled on or faced their demons.

I tried so hard, I trusted myself when the time gets hard; I gave when I had nothing to give. I loved as if I have never been hurt. For me what makes me beautiful is the fact that no matter how hard I cover my wounded depths I breathe new life into an exquisite phoenix. I never wanted to pretend to be anything that I never was. Don't you feel that nothing is more beautiful than a woman who can radiate even within the darkness of her own broken pieces?

You also should not stand around like a sheep and wait for a gently wolf to come near you. You should have the self-esteem to approach exactly the kind of people that you think you'd like to meet in your way. Try to be a lioness; not a lamb.

Staying strong or fearlessness is not a brick wall in the face of pain. It is how we are going to rise and shine in the next day when we want to give up and hide from ourselves.

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